Friday, November 20, 2009

Humble Apologies

As I sit here and type this entry I am just filled with so much guilt and pain I can hardly stand it.  I woke up this morning and thought it was going to be a great day.  Since Emma's gym class was finished I decided that we would go and each girl was going to choose things that they wanted to give to a little girl who would otherwise not receive a gift for Christmas.  They were both so proud of their choices.  It was fun until we went to leave and Rebecca couldn't handle the fact that she wasn't going to get a balloon.  She ran through the store with the balloon until I got to her.  We then had to leave the store with a kicking and screaming kid.

My thought for the rest of the day was to purchase ingredients for some holiday cookies and make them with the kids.  Not an easy task when both kids want to do everything and don't want to share the job with each other.

Then came rest time when Rebecca didn't want to rest and just kept kicking off her blankets even though I told her I was only covering her one time.  This is where the apologies come in.  She pushed my buttons to the point where it simply became a power struggle and I just got so involved in the "winning" that I went out of my mind (literally).  Thankfully my husband was on the other end of the line when I needed someone to slap me back into reality.

So, what am I sorry for?  So many things that I look back at and just think to myself, "She is only 2 years old, Karen.  Get a grip."  

At this point I will just get on bended knee and humbly ask God for forgiveness and for his grace for tomorrow.

2 comments:

nateandkatesmom said...

Karen, we all have those days. It doesn't make you a bad parent. Yes, she is only 2, and you have to pick your battles (which you will have many of) But once the battle starts, it is sort of important that you win. She will know for the future. If not it will only create more battles....and a stronger will to win! And if she kicks off her covers, I guess she will be cold until she decides to cover herself. Don't beat yourself up, you have Gods forgiveness, and Rebecca's. She'll thank you for it someday. You and Brian are doing a great job with your girls!

Amy said...

Oh boy, what a day.

It makes me feel a little better that my own mother, whom I love dearly, tells me that she hopes I don't remember some of the things she said and did in anger when I was little. Honestly, I don't remember too much of the bad. I hope my kids don't either because every Mom has "those days".

Just remember: you ARE doing a great job all in all. You have 2 great and mostly well-behaved children. (If they didn't ever misbehave they wouldn't be normal and we wouldn't learn humility!!)

Here's a verse for you (since you were looking...): "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness, O Lord." Every day is a fresh start and God is faithful to walk through it with us if we let Him.